there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
