Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
