You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
