My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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