Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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