the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
