Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
