Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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