K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
