Will you blow on my dice?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
