Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
