i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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