its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
