your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Found your dick twin last night
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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