at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
