Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
