I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
