Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
