if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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