Me too!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
