At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
