my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Vodka?
Forever.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
