Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
