you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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