Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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