Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
