he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
