I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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