He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
