4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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