He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
