Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
