Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My penis needs a shock collar
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
