so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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