haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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