You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize