i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
