Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
