You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
