just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
