ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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