You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
