dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
