let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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