question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm really busy with my period
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