Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
