the new term for farting is butt boxing.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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