No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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