They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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