Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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