I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
